They seem to go through life with blinkers on. Completely blanking out what they don't want to see.
Don't get me wrong, this could be a highly sought after skill, should they not apply it to every aspect of their lives. I wonder how many of these people suffer from a mental illness, for example? Certainly none of the ones I know..
The main worry I have about these people, is their complete lack of responsibility where their families are concerned. Where a child was more of a fashion accessory, or a money ticket, then a person they would have to take care of for the next 18 years.
You can recognise these people by the sheer amount of pathetic excuses they come out with as to why their child is a bully, or rude, or has absolutely no respect for anyone or anything. And it doesn't matter if they are a single or dual parent family. They just do not understand that they, as the 'responsible' adult are at fault if their child is a tearaway.
Being a childminder, I have head it all. In fact, this excuse has been used so many times, it just isn't worth listening to anymore:
"He's only acting out because I have to work.
He just doesn't get any time with me at the moment"
Yet, asked what they do all weekend with their child to make up for the fact that they haven't seen him all week long, and the unbelievable response is commonly:
"Well, the weekends are my 'me time'. I went out with friends on Friday night, was hung over all of Saturday and picked up my little man from his grandparents on Sunday evening"
Yup. You state the obvious, that little Tom, or Katie don't see you all week long and you can only guess that this is the reason for their poor behaviour, yet, instead of spending your weekends together, reconnecting, you push them away further, but it will all be fine in the summer when you jet off to Ibiza for 10 days with your friends, because then you will get to spend some 'real quality time' together..
Parents. You are the adults. If you choose not to put your child before your own needs, don't go making up excuses about their poor behaviour. Like with everything else in life, if you only put in 50% of the effort, expect to only get 50% of the result.
This is also an issue for stay at home parents too. Those whom would rather sit watching Jeremy Kyle and catch up on their soaps or even the ones who spend all of their days cleaning their house instead of sitting down and playing or talking to their children. Too many people have completely lost the balance of work/life/giving/taking/educating.
Teach your children respect, good manners, and independence. No one is perfect. I'm certainly not. But I don't make excuses for it. If I've messed up, I'll admit it and find a solution to turn the situation around and make things better, not just for me, but for everyone involved.
It's not hard to do this. All it really takes is admittance, commitment to rectify, and determination to not let it slip, at least too often.
Don't be perfect. Be accountable.
Find a balance that works for you and your family.
Be a good parent and learn from your mistakes. Everyone makes them, show your children that things go wrong, but you will always seek to make things right again.
Tell your child that you will find more time for them, and follow through.
Don't be the person that the other mothers talk about at the school gates, because their child is constantly craving attention for all the wrong reasons.
Listen to your children. They will tell you if and when you are failing them.
You made this tiny little person. Take pride in that. You did a wonderful, amazing thing!
Don't mess it up by being ignorant. You can do this. You can make the difference in your life, and I guarantee that you are everything in theirs.
Written by Betty Blue.
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